Wednesday, December 30, 2009

College Bowl Games

The first Rose Bowl football that was nationally televised was in 1962. I had been married for 7 years and had two children, Kurt-2- and Mark-1 and I was an USPHS officer-dentist serving in the Federal Prison system.

There were only 4 bowl games then--Orange, Sugar, Cotton and Rose, and two parades, Cotton and Rose. All were played on NY Day. NBC was the first to televise the Rose Bowl parade and game on color TV, a big sales coup for NBC-RCA.

Billie and p00-paw went to a Rose Bowl game in 1991 only to see Iowa get the corn shucked out of them, Washington 28, Iowa zip. Our seats were in the drunken Eskimo section so we were happy for the skunk.

Now there are 32 Bowls, come rain or come snow.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

A Christmas Story


A stray tomcat came to our Iowa City home and I loved him. I was allowed to keep him if I took care of him. I must have been about 10 y o.

Tootsie, our fox terrier, quickly enjoyed her new buddy, "Cha-cha-kootsa".

They would chase around the house, through or over pillow barriers that I constructed. There was grey fur everywhere.

He slept with me except when he had to take a crap, then he preferred to deposit under Gene's pillow.

Christmas was soon and my folks decided that the cat would be taken to Grandpa's, to live in his barn. So on Christmas day off we went to Grandpa's for dinner, cat in tow.

I coudn't leave the cat so I secreted him under my topcoat as we were leaving on that cold, December night. I succeeded in bringing him back home. They allowed me to keep him.

Afterall, it was Christmas.

P.S. Grandpaw saw the cat's tail sticking out but did not snitch.

That's the role of a Grandpa.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Honeymoon speed

It was about this time of year.

Jet and I were on our honeymoon, driving from Iowa to Reno in December in the year of 1955. We were both just 20 years old.

She said she had to use the toilet. The next town in the northern Nevada desert was 200 miles so we sped along in my Dad's funeral home black cadillac.

Finally we arrived at Cactus Jim's gas station and headed to the rest rooms. After I finished I asked if she felt better. And she said,

"I couldn't go, the bathroom was too dirty" !!!!!!!

"But the next stop is another 200 miles". There was silence.

I learned another lesson between a man and a woman that day.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Pearl Harbor Attack

Dec 7, 1941
JAPS BOMB PEARL HARBOR
SNEAK ATTACK

I was 6 and this event has impacted my whole life.

I was born in the middle of the great depression of the 1930's in Iowa. Everything was rationed while I was in grade school--meat, other foods, gasoline; no candy, no gum, no bottled pop, no metal toys (plastics weren't invented yet) so sticks and creativity were our toys. Water and bottled milk were our beverage.

Government controlled everything. After WW2 the government built infrastructure, like highways, huge dams. Wars began again. None were as supported like WW2 was, including our present ones.

In grade school, a student would bring in a dime a week to place in one's war bond stamp book. No dime. no stamp.

As I was finishing my tour at the Bureau of Prisons, I had an excellent record (the inmates called me Dr. Toothout). They offered me a transfer to Hawaii to check in/out Peace Corp kids if I would stay in the USPHS. I said I preferred to be my own boss.

Billie and I flew to Vegas and on to Hawaii for our honeymoon. 1st class, in the 747 lounge. Our 1st time to Hawaii, with many more to come.

There was one flight that all were very silent, for a few minutes. We were flying from Kawai to Honolulu, going right over Pearl Harbor. It was 07.55 AM, exactly the time of the morning that the Japs attacked Pearl Harbor in 1941.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Thanks God

My Grpa always had a bowl of candy around whenever I would walk over to play cribbage. He honed my hidden math skills, together with my baseball addiction for stats, to make me a math wizzeroo.

In 9th grade algebra I swept the table. 100 on every test+20 bonus on two final extra problems. Then the next year on a national deductive reasoning test, I came in at 99.99+% (and I finished early)

Thanks Grandpa, baseball and God

Grampaw Hoots

My gpa O lived a half block away on Muscatine Ave. Muscatine was an ordinary 2-lane street but actually it was a coast to coast hwy, hwy 6. A few large trucks would grind up the hill there at night but during the day there was little out of state traffic.

One day Iowa beat Illinois in a rare football win. Grandpa placed a chair out front--remember this was Hwy 6--and heckled at all the Illinois plated cars to GO HOME !!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Government Managed Health Care


"To do nothing is also a good remedy"

--Hippocrates

Monday, November 23, 2009

Barron's Top Ten Large Caps

"Right now one can find leading large cap, high quality stocks with growing dividends". Barron's 11/23/2009. Here are the top ten picks with Barron's comments. In alphabetic order.

Banco Santander STD $17.40 4.2 % yld Well run retail bank, global reach (Spain)
Chevron CVX 3.5% Integrated oil giant; dollar hedge
Intel INTC 3.3% Tech leader with scale advantage
Johnson and Johnson JNJ 3.1 % Quintessential dividend stock
McDonald's MDC 3.5 % Good emerging market growth
Nestle ADR NSRGY 2.6 % World's best run food company
Novartis ADR NVS 2.3 % Internationally diversified drug maker
Pepsico PEP 2.9 % Stable income and growth, strong brand
Procter and Gamble PG 2.8 % Hard to find a country where it isn't
Verizon Comm VZ 6.2 % High dividend, biggest U.S. wireless firm

Equities are still 30 % lower than their 1997 tops.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

The World Series of Poker

concluded this week at the Rio with the youngest player ever, 21, winning the 8+mill prize. He was down to 1 % chip total before his launch.

The rally didn't match the wild WSOP held at Binions Horseshoe in 1982.

In that match, down to two combatants, a Mr. Strause appeared to push all his chips in and lost the pot. He was about to leave but he had overlooked a single chip that was stuck between the table and the rail.

So play continued and, yes, book it, Strause won it all !!

A Caged BARE on the Strip

That's correct, BARE, not BEAR !!

A gentleman's club has converted a U-Haul truck with a large plexiglass cube in the back. Inside
the cube is a scantily clad stripper, slithering around a shiny pole.

The vehicle comes out about midnight and roves up and down the strip until 2 AM while advertising its wares.

The HustleMobile has doubled the fish visiting the club in its first two weeks.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

A truly happy person

can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

A Quarter on Saturdays

Mother would give me a quarter every Saturday to go to the movies (aka "show") in the summer in the 40's.

A city bus would come every 20 min. The pickup was at the corner, cost each way was a nickle. The show was a dime and a box of popcorn was a nickle. Five theaters in Iowa City, cowboy movies, Abbot and Costello, Frankenstein, all in black and white. Chilly air conditioning.

At about 1947 when we were 12, the outing was still a quarter but we freckle heads had fat tire bikes then and could bike downtown and back, saving two bus nickles for candy consumption.

After WW2-1945-there was candy available so we had 15c of candy moola if we biked instead of riding the bus.

Licorice came in black plugs and black sticks and had true licorice in it. A PENNY each for a plug or stick !! Hersey bar, bigger than ever went for a nickle. Jujie fruits, good & plenty, 5c a large box. Coke, pepsi, orange pop, root beer all 5c

A platoon of bikes would be parked around the theater on Saturdays, none of them were locked, nor needed to be.

Pepsi song----"Pepsi Cola hits the spot, 12 full ounces-that's a lot !! twice as much for a nickle too-you'll know pepsi is the drink for you !!" Coca Cola only had 7 oz.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Leaving Las Vegas

Fasten your seat belts. Another takeoff from Sin City. Leaving Las Vegas. To Rochester. To Moline. To Des Moines. A jackpot, black jack,a hard six will bring you back to this special city.

As you fly over the western side of Las Vegas, a vast area of sparse development is seen. All of this is land Howard Hughes bought after the Pearl Harbor attack in case the West Coast would be the next Axis target in the 40's.

The Vegas land was called "Summerlin". This was his Grandmother's maiden name.

We live in Summerlin, thanks to Howard Hughes.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Catastrophe Looming


Jim Rogers. famed investor, called for a global commodities rally in 1999. He was spot on, for commodities have dramatically outperformed stocks since then.

An eccentric, he's made numerous motorcycle trips in the remotes.

He still sees a continuation of these trends as he finds many commodities in under supply mode. He is most bullish on agricultural products.

Rogers finds a catastrophe looming. "The world is going to have a period when we cannot get food at any price in some parts of the world."

In parting, he feels "instead of getting an MBA, get yourself a farming degree. You'll make a lot more money."

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

the Candy Kids

Denver had a female semi-pro basketball team. One of the players was a patient of mine.

We set up a scrimmage between their team and our team for an upcoming Saturday noon.

The gals had a lot of ink from the Denver press, so when I disclosed the news to my team, everybody knew about the gals.

When I checked my answering machine an hour before the workout, I heard, "Hi this is Fonda, we aren't going to work out today...........Click."

So I went over to the gym at noon to tell the news.

You couldn't believe what I saw !!

New basketball shoes..new sweats, haircuts, fingernails cut and clean, teeth brushed, noses plucked.

I barely recognized these DUDES

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Basketball Tenure


I played rec basketball until I was 50, made a lot of friends, learned many lessons of life from team ball. Very therapeutic. We even formed a team to play in the over 30 YO league. Over 6 years our team, the L & M Steakhouse, won 95 % of our games.

If we lost a player or two through transfer or such, we had the pick of the litter--everybody wants to play for a winner. Likewise, everybody wanted to beat us too.

One will see little stories from time to time from this mid-life activity.

Poo-Paw

Friday, October 2, 2009

Broncos

Best Bet of this weekend.

Dallas Cowboys play at Denver on Sunday; Dallas favored by 3 points.

Take the 3 with Denver !!!

Poo-Paw the Swami

Friday, September 25, 2009

Moon Shots

There was a time when 3 or 4 of our aging basketball buddies would play raquetball.

The site was a Jeffco rec bldg. We clocked in the 8 AM Sunday slot and had to finish at 9. Court times were not staggered so up to 24 guys were changing clothes, showering, dressing, etc. at the top of the hour.

There were only four shower heads so a maximum of eight could shower at one time, doe-si-doe, soap then rinse. Most everyone was a stranger so there was no shower room goose talk.

The locker area was also spartan.

Two rows of tiny lockers and a single bench between.

Wet, sloppy floors.

Jim solved the dilemma.

He would exit the shower with his towel, climb up on the solo bench, keeping his feet out of the muck, then--butt naked--would bend over and start wiping around.

Within moments the room was clear.


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Three new products we found

These are new to us and have worked well.

#1--Ant killer liquid (not the spray). TERRO liquid ant killer. Apply to cardboard, paper, foil. We placed our hit in the top of the closet. The Pied Piper went to work. Within 3-4 days the ants had taken TERRO to their abode and were Adios. Available at Home Depot.

#2--Stop bleeding from cuts and lacerations. Safe for all ages. QR powder. Pat this powder on a bleeding happenstance and within 15 seconds a scab has formed, no pain, bleeding stopped, wound sealed. Bought ours on line.

#3--For mostly our older brethren, Bayer Quick Release aspirin Crystals. If one feels like a stroke or heart attack is happening, it often is recommended to take an aspirin to thin the blood while you are are taken to the ER. Time is so critical in a CVA or heart attack. Place one Bayer crystal on the tongue and it instantly enters the blood stream. Available at a pharmacy in a box of single dose foiled packets.

Friday, September 18, 2009

74 Years of Birthdays



Another year. Another wrinkle.

I chose 1935 as the year to begin my life, because....

a postage stamp was 3c a new clunker was $580 a house--$6,296 gas 19c/ gallon

Franklin Roosevelt was President Social Security was started unemployment was 20.1%

Persia becomes Iran Nazis introduce compulsary military service Cubs lose WS to Detroit

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Heads or Tails


1,780,000,000,000.

That's not dollars. That's not illegals. That's the number of pennies gambled in penny slot machines last year in Nevada. It produced a win for the house of $1.8 BILLION !!

When we moved here ten years ago there were less than 500 penny slots in town. They were still operated by hand fed coins and jingling payoffs.

One time I was passing the penny slot area on my way to the book at the Plaza downtown. Every machine was taking juice. There was a mounting jackpot of $1700 that had been growing from $500 and the gamblers were pressing.

An old lady player had to take a whiz. She placed a large TAKEN sign on her slot machine and raced to the can. When she returned, a Sooner had played on her machine and hit the $1700 jewel.

Many a slip twixt the cup and the lip.

I had a big twixt in my life's jack pole.

The Denver Post printed on its business page that an Wyoming Life Insurance Co was buying out Uni-Wall Interlock, I was a big insider and I would have rcvd over a million $ in life insurance stock at 1966 values and I had a major position in a linked company, Mountain Modular Mfg., a public company with tangible assets at Eagle, Co.

In the last minute as we were ready to close the deal, the key man who held the patents for Uni-Wall, GM, asked for some more dough up front.

The ranchers of the life insurance sensed "taint" as in taint no deal.

Like the lady at the Plaza, there's many a slip twixt the cup and the lip.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Gut

The gut is an ecosystem, just as much as the oceans. One should be cautious on using antibiotics, as both the "good" microbes and the "bad" guys can be attacked in the gut.

The microbes in the gut produce vitamins, they have enzymes that can digest things that we can't, and they aid our immune system. Upon termination of treatment involving antibiotics, it is assumed that the gut returns to normalcy. Not so.

One culprit thrives during antibiotic therapy and prevents the reappearance of a normal microbial community. The bad germ is known as c.diff. Infection by this bad microbe can cause prolonged bouts of diarrhea, fever, anorexia, nausea, even death.

Mice practice coprophagia (they eat each other's feces.) When a group of healthy mice was divided, sample A received antibiotics while sample B group received no antibiotics. After medication ended, mice from group A only developed c.diff problems.

Then sample A and sample B mice were cohabitated. All the mice were cleared of c.diff. and returned to a normal microbial mix. This seems to echo findings looking at 18 human patients who had suffered recurrent c.diff episodes.

Stool was taken from a donor who was free of c.diff, inserted through the patient's nose via a tube, then deposited in the stomach. No catsup.

After 9 years, 15 of the 18 had no c.diff recurrences, 2 had died of unrelated illnesses and one had a single recurrence of c.diff.



fr WSJ


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Wiffle Ball Tale

She was sitting on top of the couch, at the window waiting for me to return. As I pulled into the driveway, home from dental school, Greta, our brown Dachshund, lit up with glee.

A package of six wiffle balls had arrived. Immediately Greta took me to the box of balls, I grabbed one and threw it across the floor. The dog jumped it and brought it back and dropped it, ready for round two. A new bonding, man and dog, had begun.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Benjamin Franklin Quotation


An investment in knowledge will pay the best dividends.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Mob Museum To Open in 2011

The old post office will be renovated in downtown Vegas to become a mob museum.

Mayor Oscar Goodman,a lawyer who once represented various Vegas mobsters says that when he arrived in Las Vegas in 1964, casinos were owned by individuals although hidden ownerships by primarily Midwest mobsters were there too.

Still, Goodman voiced some nostalgia for an era he recalls as being full of iconic entertainers, comped drinks and meals, and service with a smile.

"They knew your name. They treated you like a king. I hope Vegas returns to that someday".

Mob money helped fuel development of the Strip from the 1940's to the 1970's, then law enforcement closed them down. This era helped define Las Vegas as it has grown to a major global entertainment mecca.

DF2B

Texting terms are emerging, a new short hand.
UG2BK You got to be kidding GBTW Get back to work
NMP Not my problem PIR Parent in room BI5 Back in 5 minutes
GFTD Gone for the day FYEO For your eyes only DEGT Don't even go there !
And DF2B Don't forget to brush.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Where Enron CEO Stays in Prison


There's an article today in the WSJ re top Ponzi scheme criminal Bernie Madoff and why he didn't receive his choice of federal prisons to be sent to rot.

Under "Getting Into the Top Prisons", six prisons were listed. The Federal Correctional Inst in Denver was one the six. This is where Poo-Paw spent four years as an USPHS dentist.

One of the current pigeons roosting there is Jeff Skilling, former Enron CEO.

Wait a minute--F.C.I is minimum security, males, ages 18-24. Skilling certainly doesn't belong there !! Took mucho dinero $$$$ to quarter him for sure.

He even gets tucked in...picture of his "tucker" shown.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The first All Star baseball game debuted in Comiskey Park, Chicago, 1933,pitting the All Stars from the American vs National League. Proceeds went to a fund for aid to needy retired players.

Everyone wanted to see "the Babe"aka Babe Ruth. Getting along in years, he hit the first All Star home run.

"The place went crazy" and on the strength of Ruth's home run, the All Star game was a resounding success and has been a fixture after all these years.

We saw the game when it played in Denver. We had the best seats in the house, next to the open side of the dugout. Mark McGwire, the year he juiced 70 homers, flipped his batting glove to Billie which we later sold for $250 on e-bay.

Taxes and DEflation

Economists Barrow and Perotti are saying that each $1 increase in government taxes reduces private spending by about $1, with no net benefit to GDP. All that is left is a higher level of government debt creating slower economic growth.

This is more consistent with deflation than the expected inflation.

Indeed, Christina Romer who chairs Obama's Council of Economic Advisors, wrote in 2007 that the tax multiplier is 3X. This means that each $1 rise in taxes will reduce private spending by $3.

Friday, July 3, 2009

From Marketwatch

The stock market S & P 500 needs to gain 60% to break even for the decade. What a wind in your face while trying to grow your savings !!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Hard Rock Pool Hoot


Sunday they had a pool side party at the Hard Rock, desert sun 106 degrees. The event included a bikini contest

One of the ladies told the MC that she is the best, both beautiful AND with brains !

The MC asked her, "who is the V-P of the country ?"

She answered, "Sarah Paylin." Everyone hooted and hollered.

He asked a blond what year did 9/11 take place.

"September."



Sunday, June 21, 2009

Happy Father's Day


It's been 48 years since I could greet, "Dad, Happy Father's Day !!"

Lung cancer.

Cigarettes.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Spelling Bee circa 1949


Watching the spelling bee makes me recall when I entered a bee.

I was eliminated on "cemetery".

Dad was a funeral director and was NOT TOO HAPPY !!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Cadavering

Had to buy a new computer and so we were dark for a while.

As freshman in dental school we had to take anatomy two mornings a week. 6 teams 8 cadavers. 50 all male white students. The cadaver given to our team was the smallest of the lot. Major vessels would look like a hair. It challenged us and improved our study of detail.

We respected the cadavers, made no nick names, etc.

My Mother lived close to the anatomy class and on Monday noons, I would go over to her house for lunch.

I was always starved but on one visit Mother served leftover turkey sandwiches.

I could not take a bite, after a morning of cadavering !! 

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

KA BOOM KA BOOM !!

Tonight there is a fireworks show in the Target lot nearby. 

KA BOOM       KA BOOM   WE  JUST  MISSED   A  SCREAMING  SAUCER

My 1st day at the prison, returning from lunch, we heard 

KA BOOM   KA BOOM   KA BOOM.

A TRIO OF CONVICTS was being shot trying to jump the guard  towers.

     KA  BOOM    KA BOOM !!!! 

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Only Derby Attended

While a dentist at the Chillicothe, Ohio, Federal Reformatory, we had the opportunity to see a Kentucky Derby, about a 3 hour drive away. One of the inmates was just being transferred to Ky, would be employed at the Lexington Holiday Inn and could find a room for Jet and me.

So we drove down to see the Ky Derby but there wasn't a room to be had. Our inmate friend insisted we stay with him at his half way house. And we did.

Jet wanted to know why this fellow was in prison.

I told her that he was known as the "Lexington Strangler" while in the joint.

She didn't sleep a wink that night. 

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Nothing remarkable

In this Barron's 4'26 issue, "Is this bull run for real ?"

 The only thing for  me was..."incidentally, low priced, riskier stocks leading the upside is compatible both with  bear rallies and the liftoff phase of bull markets..." Say what  ?

And we are soaked for IRA fees  etc .for this fishy fishy in a brook ??


Poo-Paw will be picking the Ky Derby bets for y'all next weekend.

So Giddyup and GO  !!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Is it over??


I have concern about our economy. I have concern that deflation, not inflation, as is believed, will be the result of this massive fed spending.  The plan in place is to allow no large companies to fail, just bail.

And bail your troubles away. Within a few months, happy days are here again. People will be buying houses, autos, shopping in malls again. So some inflation occurs as this new money and renewal of commerce will allow the fed to repay debts with inflated dollars. Or will this cause DEFLATION ?

Hoisington-Hunt note that since the 1870-ies there have occured three extended deflations:
from 1874 to 1894 USA
from 1928 to 1941 USA
from 1988 to 2008 in Japan.

All of these deflations occured in the aftermath of an extended period of extreme overindebtedness. What to do ?

Since 1802 U.S stocks have returned  2.5 % per annum more than U.S. Treasuries.

However, in ALL three aforementioned  debt deflations, the return on Treasuries exceeded the returns on stocks.

In Elliott Wave structure -top-crash-fool's rally-lengthy decline-bottom, we've been through the bubbles at the top, through the crash of a loss of 40%, and are in the fool's rally when Whooo, it's over. We'll see.



Since 1802   

Sunday, April 19, 2009

X vs Y


In church today the Pastor tipped that on Google,"the difference between men and women" created 2.6 million responses.

Read a couple of these entries for a gas.

Sorry about going dark on Poo-Paw for a month. I was on a journey on a cruise on the colitis sea.

By the way, type in "Poo-Paw" on google and we come up #2.
Thanks, Grace !!









































Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Exit when noise is hyper

Taking some off the table on this big rally, up 25% in a month.

Poo-Paw

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Cabin At Last

The annual cabin STAG is held the 1st weekend of May as is the Ky Derby. Whereas the Derby has unique bonnets and gowns and mint jullips, the STAG features jeans and sweats and baseball hats, some caps reversed. Beers and chasers, grilled steaks, burgers and dogs,Polish sausages and Mexican casseroles laced with jalapenos. Cigars. Pool, poker, horse shoes and a horse draw for the Derby.

A Klan without hatred nor sheets.  

Friday, April 3, 2009

Cabin fever


Two owl buses remained, two hrs after "last call". 

We closed the club house for the night, and winded up the old stream road to the cabin, mostly in low gear. My headlights were bouncing around as I followed the lead car, Mr. T's.

Suddenly the lead car stopped. Guys bailed from all four doors. The rider in the front passenger seat, Principal O'Rourke, was actively vomiting. Others were wiping their eyes and circling about, some gagging.

We raced up to the scene, "WHAT HAPPENED" ??? 

Nothing more than a rider in the back seat unloading a lower digestive ripper.

    

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Cabin 1


The Exit Light and Scoopshot were shooting pool so we said we would bring home all the food and beers when we finished, We were closing down at the cabin, near Pikes Peak, 2 hrs from Denver. It was Ky Derby weekend, also the same weekend of the STAG. F-S-S

The Judge happened to see 2 snaps driving toward the cabin on Sat. On inquiry they were bar belles, hearing that there was a party worth crashing. The Judge sent them back and fined the leak a case of cold beer if he wished to return to the Stag.

20 minutes later Lefty returned solo with 2 cases of cold beer.

O yes. The snow. So wet and cold and windless, one could park an open beer on the roof. And we had all the stores. Ham sandwiches, etc, a pig's delight.

Arriving in Denver we called Mr T to see if we could bring over the grub and beers.

 Rebecca answered. She said, after a gasping moment, that Mr. T's group of three cars were checked in for the night in Colo Springs at the Lamplight AKA Candlenight Inn, then faded away about a "house or horse in the middle of the road..."   

Monday, March 23, 2009

Mortician VII

Jet and I had a rare snit. In my pajamas I left the kitchen to visit the bathroom, there was a single bathroom, shared by the two student couples. I did my thing. Oh-Oh, Jet has me locked out and wanted me to beg to enter.

Instead I went down to the casket display room in the basement of the mortuary and selected shirt, pants, belt and shoes from the clothes used to dress a corpse.
I took a quarter from the petty cash and walked a block to the Hawk Tavern and had a 15c glass of beer.

There was a problem. All shirts and suit coats used to dress a body are slit down the back to ease the dressing of a stiff. I kept my backside toward the wall and sat in the corner as I had a slit down the back of my shirt.

In about 10 minutes I returned to my apartment and was greeted warmly by a worried wife.    

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Mortician VI


At the funeral home, the door chimed and I went down to greet this old lady. Her late husband was in Viewing Room B. She wanted to see if Jack had his socks on.

I took her to B, lifted open the bottom of Jack's casket and showed Marti that his socks were in place.

She drew back, put both hands to her face and said,

"Thank Goodness ! I thought his feet might be COLD" !!!  

Monday, February 23, 2009

mortician V


Flies were flocking to the screens.

After two weeks, neighbors  living in the sticks called police complaining of odor.

The police responded and found an elderly female woman decomposing in a closed closet. It was August in Iowa, hot and humid. Soaponfication was occuring. Floors were slimy, slippery. Stench.

The coroner was called . He was an Irish MD, cigar, could have passed for a NY ward director.
He ordered the crime photographer to go in and take pictures.

The photographer balked ," I  I  Can't do it " He was a sophomore in journalism, seeking experience in crime photography. The coroner threw him in, slammed the door and ordered,"Take  ALL pictures".  The he called the Oathout  F H for body bag pickup to the morgue for autopsy.

I was in class so I missed this one, but our head embalmer took the call. When he neared the address, he told us later--

I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE A BAD ONE, THE POLICE WERE VOMITING IN THE STREETS !!!!!!

   

 

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Mortician IV


The Oathout Funeral Home was located in Iowa City, Iowa. IC was also home of the Univ of Iowa and had a huge medical facility with hospital. I often had to pick up a body at the hospital morgue  and return to the funeral home for embalming and then placed in an aluminum container for shipping. The morgue was chilled, kinda dark, and deathly quiet. Its entry code was DOA.

Shipping  to an out of town mortuary was either by train (Rock Island RR) or the other mortuary would drive to Iowa City. There was a damn train that was to arrive at 02:30 AM. and was ALWAYS late about 2-3 hours. If I were on duty, that would be my bag.

One evening the door bell rang and I went down. A driver was there to pick up an embalmed body and drive it into Illinois 300 miles.

There were two bodies in storage. Neither was tagged. Like a patient in a hospital, corpses are always tagged. We looked behind the ears, in the crack of the butt. No tag.

There's more.

BOTH were white males, similarly aged and sized. And get this--both had their LEFT legs amputated at the knee.

I went up front and inspected the two death certificates. The first and 2nd years of dental school are studying all the -ologies; indeed, at that time, Harvard had their dental and medical schools take the same classes for two years. So I had some knowledge in this area.

Both Ralph A. and Ralph B. had died of heart disease, 2nd cause diabetes but Ralph B. had a tertiary cause of liver decease. We went back and saw that Ralph B. was slightly jaundiced by the yellow hue.

Good Luck and Good Night !!

 

Mortician III


While living at the funeral home in college, Jet and I had a lot of people stop by after classes for libations. They always wanted a tour of the building. We'd show them the casket room in the basement, the office, the rooms where services were held, view rooms, the embalming studio, the hearse, the works.

On one occasion I had Jet tell some newbies that I wasn't home yet but would they like a tour. Of course they did.

I had slipped down the back stairs and climbed under a sheet on the embalming table. I could hear them coming down the hall and entering the embalming room.

Is that a BODY ???!!!

I wiggled my little finger.

LOOK !!! I saw IT MOVE !!!

I waited two seconds and let out a groan.........

All the doors went flying open as all, including Jet, exploded out of the room.  

 

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Mortician II


Jet and I were married in 1955, honeymooned in Reno and Las Vegas, then returned to Iowa City for continuous schooling toward our RN and DDS degrees.

We moved into the Oathout Funeral Home. Two student couples lived on the 2nd floor. We moved into one of these two apartments. 1 bdr, 1 shared bath, no shower in those days. We would be on duty, switching every night, coat and tie, escorting folks to the room to view the deceased in their casket, flowers around. If there was a pickup of a body at the Univ of Iowa morgue, one of us could handle it. Called a "shipout"

 If a person would die at home at night, both of the husbands would have to get up, coat and tie, drive to the address and wrap and cot the body and return to the funeral home. The embalmer would soon be there to treat the body and we guys could go back to bed.

To be continued on M III               

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Mortician I


In a few I will prune my old  blogs down to less time sensitive. My 1st stories deal with the funeral business. I was groomed to be a mortician.

My Dad and his twin brother left the farm after the 8th grade and joined a mortuary school, moving from Iowa to Kansas City.

My Dad wore a coat and tie every day. I felt so proud when I walked with my Dad downtown. He would tip his hat to strangers, had a pace of military about him.

But he first learned to tie a tie on a corpse in Kansas City.

To the day that he died, he would lie a tie on the bed, knot it on the bed, then noose it around his neck impeccably.   

Monday, February 2, 2009

Dental Picks

The standard interdental cleaning device is the dental floss introduced by a dentist in Texas and marketed by Johnson and Johnson. It is packaged in a spool of nylon thread contained in a small package with a thread cutter. Available in waxed or unwaxed nylon or teflon, a string of about 10 inches is pulled and cut, wrapped around the first finger of each hand and with the thumbs is held tightly and pressed between the contacts of two teeth. Then it is rowed back and forth in the triangular space and removed by pulling out the thread to one side or snapped back through the contacts. 

Problems.

Very laborious. Not practical for use in public places. Most common waxed floss leaves instant plaque behind. All can break, sometimes difficult to retrieve. All can cut the gums, causing bleeding. Can't be used between most bridgework without an accessory. Pushed on patients by dental professionals without demonstration of alternatives. Difficult to use by most older patients due to loss of dexterity. 

An Alternative.

The Doctor's Brush Picks, an 3 inch plastic pick, tapered to a rounded point on one end and tiny bristles on the other, flexible. Extremely useful, public and private. No breakage. Does not leave debris. I use about six of these a day. Available from DENTIST.NET. Get a couple of travel 40 ct travel packs and a few 250 ct drums. I am not an agent.  


Sunday, January 25, 2009

Climb


Climb every Mountain

     Ford every Stream

   Follow every 
 
        Rainbow

 Till you find
              your 
                
                 Dream         

Friday, January 16, 2009

Dad and Son


Son--Dad, I need $10.

Dad--What for ?

Son--I want to buy a guinea pig.

Dad--Here's $20. Buy a good looking Irish girl instead.     

Sunday, January 11, 2009

But...


Well Poo-Paw has now won 8 straight sports bets

but...

another float came to Vegas. Poker player, grew to $400 million winnings in private games  here in 4 yrs. Then the fish would no longer play with him in poker. So then he went to craps. Lost 200  m. Then to baccaret

From 400 m to bust in 3 yrs.

Lots of stories of Vegas that I've not given. Too involved with the studies of our next TITANIC.

Searching for a seat on a promised life boat.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

My gpa from my Mother's side was a farmer in western Iowa, Shelby IA. He was known as "Doc"
The 7th son was to be a Doctor. He was the 7th son of a 13 litter.

The swirling skies in June opened into swelter. Doc Best hollered from the barn to Emma, BRING ME MY HAT !!

He waited.

And waited.

Emma  finally shows up pulling an old horse which she had to chase down and bridle. 

Doc shouted, I SAID BRING ME HAT-NOT OLD PAT !!

How to make comments to a blog

At the end of a blog entry, there is a tab that says "comment".  Click here and the page will display a space to type in your comment.  Then you will be required to do a word verification. Next, if you do not have a google account, you will need to sign up and create a username and password.  Sara uses her comcast email account as her login and enters a password.  Then you may post the comment to the blog entry. 
Comments are appreciated!!!

Thanks.
Poo-paw

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Trillion


How many years are there in one trillion seconds ??

Over 31,000 years.

The last ice age ended 10,000 years ago.

Our federal govt expects over one trillion dollars of red ink next year.

Monday, January 5, 2009

"One of these nights..."

Saw a group playing old Eagles songs at the 'Coast. I've had this double folded C bill in my wallet for a few years. It was to be a reserve in case I engaged in a craps game.  Typical start would be $120 at a $2 min table, a stack of $5 and a stack of $1 chips.

As we were leaving the Eagles concert we walked by some craps tables and I said to Billie, "I'm going to play that hunnert". I put it down in front of the dealer, said "60 on 6 and 40 come". The stick man said "bet",indicating that my money was alive on the next roll.

On the 6, every 6 rolled pays me $70 each time. I lose my $60 when a 7 is thrown.

On the come, a 2 (snake eyes) a 3 or a 12 (box cars), rolled on the 1st throw loses my $40 bet.  
A 7 or 11 wins, pays me my $40 and keeps my original bet alive.
A 4-5-6-8-9-10 throw goes from the come to the number thrown and has to repeat before a 7 is thrown to win.

I can't see the shooter-he's at the other end- but within a second the two dice go flying by. BOXCARS my $40 is picked up by the dealer. The stickman, sitting at the middle of the table gathers the dice and scoots them down to the shooter. He shoots. SEVEN my $60 is gone and I'm broke on two throws. A  12-7 combo happens once in 216 times.

But "One of these nights..."

Saturday, January 3, 2009

The Aftermath of Financial Crises

There are real differences between normal business-cycle recessions and a recession brought on by a financial crisis. The latter are much more severe. Sadly, we are in the latter type.

From Reinhart and Rogoff "...Broadly speaking, financial crises are protracted affairs. More often than not, the aftermath of severe financial affairs share three characteristics. FIRST, asset market collapses are deep and prolonged. Real housing price declines average 35 percent stretched out over six years, while equity price collapses average 55 percent over a downturn of about three and a half years. SECOND, the aftermath of banking crises is associated with profound declines on output and employment. The unemployment rate rises an average of 7 percentage points over the down phase of the cycle, which lasts on average over four years. Output falls (from peak to trough) an average of over 9 percent, although the duration of the downturn,  averaging roughly two years, is considerably shorter than for unemployment. THIRD, the real value of government debt tends to explode, rising an average of 86 percent in the major post-World War 2 episodes.

Interestingly, the main cause of debt explosions is not the widely cited costs of bailing out and recapitalizing the banking system. ...In fact, the big drivers of debt increases are the inevitable collapse in tax revenues that governments suffer..."

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year

The Iowa So Carolina bowl game started @ 8 AM here on DVR. It was a complete skunk for Iowa. Billie and I went to the Iowa- Wash  Rose Bowl, had to sit in the Wash section with scalped tickets. Iowa was a small fav, but when I saw them come on the field I knew we were doomed. Ended 28 zip but could as easily been anything zip. We were redeemed today as Iowa Hawks outplayed the Gamecocks from A to T.

Suppose there was one plough to sell and two interested to buy in 1850 France.

Buyer A had dug dirt with a shovel,saved money, bought a small farm, was thrifty, good balance sheet. He wanted the plough to drain his land and increase  productivity.
Buyer B also wished the machne so that he could avoid much digging and leapfrog to a plough without a plan for its use.

Obviously if  one was a lender one would choose Buyer A. But Buyer B got the plough. 

What happened?

An election had occurred where the people wanted government to intervene. Another agency with their payroll and sloth was created.

Sounds like now?

Written in 1850 in France.